I go through periods of what I call valley moments. I can’t seem to concentrate. I receive far more ‘no’ responses than I’d care to share. Sometimes, the no comes in the form of no communication at all. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t seem to move ahead. I get depressed and frustrated. I know that I’m not the only person who goes through this. It’s a hard thing to admit or acknowledge that you’re struggling with something. Or, it may be several somethings. I asset where I am in my valley moments, and I know that my situation could be worse. There was a time in my life when it actually was. I recognize that there is someone going through far more challenging issues. But, my valley moments are real for me. They are important for me. They’ve seemed unbearable at times, for me. Yet, somehow, I manage to keep pushing forward and making the most of where I am.
In life, we’re all going to face valley moments in our personal and professional lives. Those moments can feel like a lifetime. I know. I’ve been there. It’s not been as long as others may think. The key to dealing with the valley moments is just that-dealing with them. Just because you’re in the valley doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. It doesn’t mean that you should give in to despair. It’s a time to reflect. It’s a time to assess the circumstances responsible for your adversity. There are some issues that are beyond your control. There are other situations that are self inflicted. Either way, you have to be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the role you played and be accepting of the aspects for which you have no control. Once you do that, the next step is to act accordingly.
The most important thing is to keep moving. The more time you allow yourself to dwell on the negative aspects of the valley, you’re unable to recognize the positives. You never know how much faith, strength and courage you have until you’ve been faced with a situation that challenges it. When, yes when, you make it through your adversities and reach your peak, you’ll be able to look back on what your challenges were and reflect on just how strong you really are. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop trying. Keep going-everyday. Keep pushing forward-everyday. One day, you’ll get your yes. You’ll get the clarity you need. Show up-everyday!
In business, as well as in our personal lives, no can sometimes be the hardest word to say. Those two little words possess a great deal of power and influence. The closer we are to the person, place or thing we must say no to, the more difficult it is to do. I will go a step further and say that we feel compelled to provide an explanation. And, while I do believe that sometimes it is necessary to explain why we are saying no, in most cases, it is not. As humans, we tend to feel obligated to explain ourselves. We don’t want individuals to be mad at us or feel we are letting them down. The truth is, no is a complete sentence. It’s an answer to a question. Whether or not you should offer a why depends on the situation.
Understand that providing an explanation doesn’t mean you’ll be forgiven. It doesn’t mean you will be more liked. What is does mean is that you respected yourself and others to say no. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. When I say no, it’s usually because I’m trying to protect myself and/or others. There’s a lesson to be learned. There’s a strength that needs to be explored or exercised.
With each encounter in question, ask yourself what the short and long term outcomes will be. Examine the pros and cons. Evaluate whether the risk is worth the reward. Decide whether or not it will compromise your values, peace of mind and overall holistic well being. Assess whether or not you will see growth and if there is a mutual benefit.
Once you’ve completed your research, evaluations and careful assessments, you will be able to make an informed decision about what YOU want and need to do. And, if the answer is no, then say it with confidence, knowing that unless it is truly necessary, an explanation is not needed nor required.
I just wanted to take a quick moment to acknowledge my 2 year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband, Jason. People often ask me how I gained enough trust in someone to allow them into my heart after having dealt with abuse. I dedicated an entire chapter of my book, Restoring the Whole in My Soul to our story because I felt that others needed to see and know that love after abuse is possible, and the HOW it happened wasn’t a fairy tale knight in shining armor type of story. It’s about real people who established a friendship which set the foundation for love, trust and understanding on a holistic level.
I absolutely love my husband for helping me to grow, trust, love and pursue my dreams. He encourages me to go further, push harder, dig deeper and explore infinite possibilities. He helped me to develop a business brand, a nonprofit and a confidence to share my knowledge and experiences in a way that is both professional and personable. I have never felt more safe, secure and encouraged in a relationship. I not only speak and train about healthy relationships, micro enterprise, personal development and life after abuse. I live it daily. It’s evident in the way I carry myself. It’s evident in my conversations. It’s given my family, friends and colleagues an opportunity to see my growth. I am grateful for this phase of my journey and all of the wonderful adventures that my husband and I will share for years to come.
I had the pleasure of participating in a three day tele-summit entitled Unleash You in 2016: Living on Purpose, Maximizing Your Life. This was my second time participating in a tele-summit, and I must say, I have thoroughly enjoyed both experiences. I was given the opportunity to go into a deep discussion about what the title means to me and how it correlates with the work that I do. It was also an opportunity to hear from other speakers, all women, who shared their own perspectives. It was hosted by Patricia Wright who is a coaching specialist/strategist. It was a great opportunity for me personally and professionally. I learned a great deal from the other speakers, and I received positive feedback regarding my own presentation.
In short, I shared that when I hear the word leash, I think of something that is being confined or constricted. I think of dog and cat owners who have their pets on leashes for the purposes of walking them without allowing them to run freely until they are in an environment that is safe for them to do so. The leash also helps the pet owner to walk them at their own pace rather than the pace that the pet may wish to do so. To be unleashed, for me, is to be free to do what I want, when I want and how I want. Living on purpose and maximizing my life has given me the chance to learn more about who I am, what I want/need and establish what my life’s purpose is to be. As a survivor of abuse, I get to live that life to its fullest potential and not feel confined to the ideas, goals and lifestyle of other people and their expectations for me. I’ve even unleashed the fear and doubt that I once had about my own life and expectations that I had for myself due to an inaccurate, well established self fulfilling prophecy.
I challenge each of you to find your purpose, live your lives to its fullest potential and unleash whoever or whatever may be stopping you from being your very best you. It’s not too late to start unleashing, forgiving and loving yourself and those around you. Give yourself permission to be free. Understand that we all make mistakes, but that you shouldn’t allow yourself or other to suffocate you with reminders of those mistakes. Have an outstanding 2016, knowing that each day will bring you new challenges, adventures, valley moments and peaks. They all serve a purpose. Live your life on purpose and maximize your life, today and everyday going forward.
In an ideal world, who wouldn’t want to have unlimited funding available to promote their products and services? After all, there’s approximately 7 billion people in the world. But, in the realistic business world where many upstarts (and even those who’ve been in business for awhile) may find themselves financially challenged, one must be strategically creative in how they go about marketing on a budget for maximum benefit. Here are a few ideas that may help when you have minimal to no additional funds for marketing yourself:
1. Utilizing social media/social sites. Every week, there seems to be another social media platform that can be used for exposure. While Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn continue to be among the front runners, social outlets such as Pinterest, Blab, Instagram and Periscope are quickly being recognized as useful and effective forms of reaching potential clients and supporters around the globe. The best part-all of these platforms are absolutely free.
2. Partner/Collaborate. There are two types of people to partner/collaborate with-those within your field and those completely opposite of it. Both will allow you to have a meeting of the minds to share ideas and be exposed to new audiences. Remember, even those who share similar skills will likely have their own niche, which is also true for you. And, those who operate in a completely different field may be connected to those that are in need of your services and vise versa.
3. Ask for help. Think about those who may have tangible resources that you could borrow or have donated to you for your particular business. Tangible resources could be anything from cash to office space and supplies. Consider those who you admire who may be able to offer some advice. You never know who may be willing to help if you don’t take a leap of faith and just ask.
