I had the pleasure of participating in a three day tele-summit entitled Unleash You in 2016: Living on Purpose, Maximizing Your Life. This was my second time participating in a tele-summit, and I must say, I have thoroughly enjoyed both experiences. I was given the opportunity to go into a deep discussion about what the title means to me and how it correlates with the work that I do. It was also an opportunity to hear from other speakers, all women, who shared their own perspectives. It was hosted by Patricia Wright who is a coaching specialist/strategist. It was a great opportunity for me personally and professionally. I learned a great deal from the other speakers, and I received positive feedback regarding my own presentation.
In short, I shared that when I hear the word leash, I think of something that is being confined or constricted. I think of dog and cat owners who have their pets on leashes for the purposes of walking them without allowing them to run freely until they are in an environment that is safe for them to do so. The leash also helps the pet owner to walk them at their own pace rather than the pace that the pet may wish to do so. To be unleashed, for me, is to be free to do what I want, when I want and how I want. Living on purpose and maximizing my life has given me the chance to learn more about who I am, what I want/need and establish what my life’s purpose is to be. As a survivor of abuse, I get to live that life to its fullest potential and not feel confined to the ideas, goals and lifestyle of other people and their expectations for me. I’ve even unleashed the fear and doubt that I once had about my own life and expectations that I had for myself due to an inaccurate, well established self fulfilling prophecy.
I challenge each of you to find your purpose, live your lives to its fullest potential and unleash whoever or whatever may be stopping you from being your very best you. It’s not too late to start unleashing, forgiving and loving yourself and those around you. Give yourself permission to be free. Understand that we all make mistakes, but that you shouldn’t allow yourself or other to suffocate you with reminders of those mistakes. Have an outstanding 2016, knowing that each day will bring you new challenges, adventures, valley moments and peaks. They all serve a purpose. Live your life on purpose and maximize your life, today and everyday going forward.
Domestic abuse can leave many individuals in fear of their lives. Statistics show that once a victim of abuse decides to leave his/her abuser, there is a greater chance of the victim being assaulted, and sadly, may turn fatal. The major reason for this has to do with the abuser realizing that he’s losing his/her power and control over the victim. This is one of the main reasons that we, as advocates and counselors, encourage individuals to have a safety plan in place that covers a who, what, when, where and why for before, during and after he/she leaves an abusive situation. For many, learning various methods of self defense is a positive way to make individuals feel safe and empowered.
In Memphis, TN, there are a number of organizations and businesses that offer options for self defense, some to include gun training and certification. On March 19th, I will serve as one of the presenters for the event on the attached photo. This particular conference will explore options that do not include the use of a gun. We’ll also talk about domestic abuse, the different types, understanding the signs, where to go for services and will include live demonstrations for self defense for which attendees can participate. If you’re in Memphis or know others who are, please be sure to register or encourage others to do so. What you’ll learn here will be helpful for you or someone you know.
February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month. It is the time that we, as a society, should be making a conscience effort to educate and inform our teens about the importance of establishing healthy relationships, setting boundaries, knowing the signs of abuse and what to do if you find yourself in an abusive situation.
The problem is, in my opinion, we still have too many adults who are not aware that this month has been set aside for such a purpose. We still have too many adults who don’t quite understand abuse themselves, and therefore, simply cannot educate young people about it. There are too many adults that are still living in their own fear of their abuser, what people will think of them if they tell anyone about being abused (past or present) or struggling with their own lack of self esteem and self worth. I was one of those adults. I always knew that I didn’t want my children to be in unhealthy relationships, but I wasn’t providing them with a positive role models. Nor did I spend as much time as I should have in seeking them out. Although we’ve worked through a lot of our individual and collective hurts regarding the aftermath of abuse, it is still something that I regret.
Thankfully, I am a different person, and I have been able to speak to teens and tweens about abuse and reassure them that it’s not their fault, talk to someone they trust and that help/resources are available. What I enjoy most is talking with the parents and the children at the same time. It gives me the opportunity to in turn, tell the parents to BE the person that their child CAN talk to and trust, face their own fears, leave the unhealthy relationship and know that help and resources are available for them as well as their children. I also like to remind people that they are talking to young people, so if it’s difficult for you to know what direction to take, consider that it’s that much more difficult for a child.
Be sure to search for programs that mentor teens and find out if domestic violence/teen dating violence is covered in their programs. If not, then make the suggestion to have it included. I welcome the opportunity to provide insights that will assist in making our young people feel safe and educated.
I had the privilege of taking part in a very well put together telesummit entitled Transcend 2016: Connect, Express, Relate and Grow. It was hosted by Jennifer Tagaki of Jennifer Tagaki Co. and she was very intentional about putting together a group of women who specialized in specific areas of health, wellness and financial literacy. The result? A week long telesummit filled with great information and presented by knowledgeable, passionate and engaging women. In addition to being provided great information via telephone, each speaker provided freebies to everyone who signed up. Everyone who tuned in was able to hear and receive the tools they needed to holistically succeed.
My topic was entitled Walking Into A New Life: Overcoming Abuse. WIANL is also the name of my nonprofit organization. It is my belief that you have to have the proper mindset to do anything, so if you’re being mentally tormented, it will be very difficult to concentrate on the other aspects of your life. We must not just concern ourselves with our physical health. Time and attention must be devoted to our mental health as well. WIANL’s mission is to stop domestic violence and help stabilize victims through a series of projects, programs and initiatives that we host throughout the year. Don’t ever feel the need to be in a hurry when it comes to getting over abuse. It is a process and everyone will need to do it at their own pace. But, with the right guidance and tangible resources, it is possible to live a holistically happy and healthy life. I am honored to have been able to share my insights with those in attendance.
I had the opportunity to serve as a panelist for the Connecting the Dots to End DV Conference that took place at Abundant Grace Fellowship Church. It was hosted by the Healing Grace Counseling Services ministry of the church. I also provided the closing remarks for the program with the topic of ‘Now What’, which happens to fall in alignment with one of my signature talks. The panelists included everyone from the police department, members of the clergy, counseling and mental health services. The point of the conference was to provide information for all walks of the community, with the goal of ‘connecting the dots’ for those who may be going through abuse to see and know that options and support are available in all areas that they may encounter.
One of the biggest reasons that I was honored to participate in this event is that the focus was keeping the conversation of domestic violence going after October. That is something that’s very important to me. In a previous blog, I shared about writing an article for The Memphis Flyer entitled From Awareness to Action. In it, I shared my thoughts about the necessity of taking the information that we gain in October and using it to educate and assist victims of abuse all year long. I was also impressed with the fact that they had a special segment just for teens.
I sincerely thank Paris Ducker who asked me to take part in the conference and for everyone who embraced me and my insights.
