October is nationally recognized as domestic violence awareness month. As Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc. and personally celebrating my 10 year as a survivor, I invite everyone to please visit our facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/walkingintoanewlifeinc/ for the very latest on upcoming events, news, and highlights of brave men and women who are surviving and thriving. We’ll also remember those who lost their lives to violence and continue our efforts to save as many individuals as possible.
WIANL is a 501c3 non-profit organization. Our mission is to provide tangible resources to individuals affected by domestic violence. Since 2010, we’ve hosting a series of programs, town halls, and events designed to provide awareness and encourage action. We’ve been able to provide resources to include bus, gas, and gift cards, food, toiletries, clothes, and relocation assistance We continue to need financial donations, but we also need donations in a number of other areas, including volunteering. If you or someone you know would like to support our efforts, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at info@wianl.org or call (901) 466-6182.
Girls Night Out began six years ago at the Whitehaven Library. One of the directors, Donna Windham, reached out to me and asked if I’d be one of the facilitators. She felt domestic violence was a topic that needed to be addressed among young ladies, especially the teens. I agreed to participate. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and learned some great information from the attendees and the other agency presenter.
The following year, I was asked to come back. This time, I would be the sole presenter. Again, I agreed and again, I had a great time interacting with the attendees. I’m honored to say this year will mark six years of me serving in this capacity. It is extremely important that we continue to bring awareness about domestic violence, encourage our young people to make healthy and informed choices and guide their plans and purpose in a positive way. I do hope you’ll make plans to join us, share the information and bring as many young ladies with you as you can.
Domestic abuse can leave many individuals in fear of their lives. Statistics show that once a victim of abuse decides to leave his/her abuser, there is a greater chance of the victim being assaulted, and sadly, may turn fatal. The major reason for this has to do with the abuser realizing that he’s losing his/her power and control over the victim. This is one of the main reasons that we, as advocates and counselors, encourage individuals to have a safety plan in place that covers a who, what, when, where and why for before, during and after he/she leaves an abusive situation. For many, learning various methods of self defense is a positive way to make individuals feel safe and empowered.
In Memphis, TN, there are a number of organizations and businesses that offer options for self defense, some to include gun training and certification. On March 19th, I will serve as one of the presenters for the event on the attached photo. This particular conference will explore options that do not include the use of a gun. We’ll also talk about domestic abuse, the different types, understanding the signs, where to go for services and will include live demonstrations for self defense for which attendees can participate. If you’re in Memphis or know others who are, please be sure to register or encourage others to do so. What you’ll learn here will be helpful for you or someone you know.
What has kept you from pursuing your new business? What’s keeping you from leaving that unhealthy relationship? Why are you still working for a company that doesn’t appreciate your true worth? Why do you feel obligated to remain friends with someone who doesn’t understand what being a true friend really means? There are so many reasons as to the ‘why’ we do what we do. Most of the time, the why has to do with fear. We fear the unknown. That is a natural human characteristic. However, it is a four letter word that carries a lot of weight, and oftentimes, we just don’t know how to overcome it. And, when we develop a little of courage to do so, we find ourselves becoming afraid of the presumed outcome, so we just dismiss the idea of addressing it altogether.
What you need is a plan of action, and you need to have people in your life that will hold you accountable, support your efforts and provide you with constructive criticism. I would never advise anyone to just leave your relationship or quit your job. What I do encourage is that you do some serious evaluating about those issues and begin to make preparations so that your transition is as safe and stress free as possible. When making those plans, be sure that you’re NOT sharing that information with everyone. Be selective with whom you trust your plans because an abuser’s anger is heightened when he/she knows you’re planning to live him/her. Your plans to resign from a job may cause you to get fired because someone decided to share information that prohibits you from leaving on your own terms.
In the case of friendships and just overall negative people, let them go…NOW. Far too often, we are so concerned about hurting their feelings that we’ve not considered our own. Are those people as concerned about your feelings? As with any situation, do try and make an effort to work things out if that is a possibility. However, don’t lose sleep or your life trying to force something to work that’s rooted in fear.
The 39th Annual NOVA Conference was recently held in Columbus, OH, with Joyce Parkinson, serving as a workshop presenter. Parkinson, who is a survivor of domestic abuse, is the Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc. She found herself dealing with a number of barriers during her transition which left her feeling helpless and hopeless at times. With the help of friends, a lot of research and perseverance, she created a marketing company, JP Connections and started sharing her story of transition from victim to victorious. With a background in criminal justice, years of experience in social work and her own personal accounts, she has developed a curriculum noteworthy of sharing nationally, and has caught the attention of organizations locally. The official outline/launch is forthcoming.
NOVA (National Organization for Victims Assistance), is the longest national victim assistance organization of its type in the United States, having been founded in 1975. The conference is a four-day event, with hundreds of attendees from across the country who get together for a series of trainings and networking. This year’s conference was entitled “Implementing the Tools of Our Trade to Build a Comforting Justice”.
Parkinson’s workshop, entitled “Education, Microenterprise Development & Domestic Violence”, focused on best practices for educating advocates, businesses and organizations to better understand domestic violence and how to work with victims to become self-sufficient survivors. “It is easy to tell a person to leave. As advocates, we must also advise them on how to do it safely and equip them with some resources to help them with the transition. I want to help as many as possible to avoid many of the barriers that I encountered and walk into their new lives with confidence and hope.”
