As many of you are now aware, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I will be sharing a lot more blogs over the next few weeks, so please be sure to stay connected. In the meantime, I’m asking that you reach out to your local agencies and ask how you can help, attend events, make a donation, wear something purple, etc. And, as always, if you or someone you know is going through domestic violence, please call 911 asap (if in immediate danger) or your local agency for strategies on how to leave safely. I’m looking forward to sharing the launch of our organization’s website (Walking Into A New Life, Inc.). But, you can keep up with what we’re doing here: https://www.facebook.com/walkingintoanewlifeinc/
I go through periods of what I call valley moments. I can’t seem to concentrate. I receive far more ‘no’ responses than I’d care to share. Sometimes, the no comes in the form of no communication at all. Despite my best efforts, I just can’t seem to move ahead. I get depressed and frustrated. I know that I’m not the only person who goes through this. It’s a hard thing to admit or acknowledge that you’re struggling with something. Or, it may be several somethings. I asset where I am in my valley moments, and I know that my situation could be worse. There was a time in my life when it actually was. I recognize that there is someone going through far more challenging issues. But, my valley moments are real for me. They are important for me. They’ve seemed unbearable at times, for me. Yet, somehow, I manage to keep pushing forward and making the most of where I am.
In life, we’re all going to face valley moments in our personal and professional lives. Those moments can feel like a lifetime. I know. I’ve been there. It’s not been as long as others may think. The key to dealing with the valley moments is just that-dealing with them. Just because you’re in the valley doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. It doesn’t mean that you should give in to despair. It’s a time to reflect. It’s a time to assess the circumstances responsible for your adversity. There are some issues that are beyond your control. There are other situations that are self inflicted. Either way, you have to be honest with yourself, take responsibility for the role you played and be accepting of the aspects for which you have no control. Once you do that, the next step is to act accordingly.
The most important thing is to keep moving. The more time you allow yourself to dwell on the negative aspects of the valley, you’re unable to recognize the positives. You never know how much faith, strength and courage you have until you’ve been faced with a situation that challenges it. When, yes when, you make it through your adversities and reach your peak, you’ll be able to look back on what your challenges were and reflect on just how strong you really are. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t stop trying. Keep going-everyday. Keep pushing forward-everyday. One day, you’ll get your yes. You’ll get the clarity you need. Show up-everyday!
I just wanted to take a quick moment to acknowledge my 2 year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband, Jason. People often ask me how I gained enough trust in someone to allow them into my heart after having dealt with abuse. I dedicated an entire chapter of my book, Restoring the Whole in My Soul to our story because I felt that others needed to see and know that love after abuse is possible, and the HOW it happened wasn’t a fairy tale knight in shining armor type of story. It’s about real people who established a friendship which set the foundation for love, trust and understanding on a holistic level.
I absolutely love my husband for helping me to grow, trust, love and pursue my dreams. He encourages me to go further, push harder, dig deeper and explore infinite possibilities. He helped me to develop a business brand, a nonprofit and a confidence to share my knowledge and experiences in a way that is both professional and personable. I have never felt more safe, secure and encouraged in a relationship. I not only speak and train about healthy relationships, micro enterprise, personal development and life after abuse. I live it daily. It’s evident in the way I carry myself. It’s evident in my conversations. It’s given my family, friends and colleagues an opportunity to see my growth. I am grateful for this phase of my journey and all of the wonderful adventures that my husband and I will share for years to come.
I’m honored beyond words to have been selected as one of 12 women in our community as the Elizabeth Terry Reproductive Justice at the Intersections Award honoree. The beautiful program was hosted by SisterReach, Founder and Executive Director, Cherrise Scott. I absolutely love working in a field that helps to bring awareness and change regarding issues related to domestic violence and sexual assault. As a survivor, I can transparently reflect on times when I felt that my reproductive choices were compromised due to marriage. As I learn more about SisterReach and reproductive justice as a whole, I understand that it’s more than just about abortion. I strongly suggest that you take some time to learn more about the wonderful work of SisterReach and how you can get involved.
With February being known as the month of love and inclusive of Valentine’s Day, society has convinced so many people that it is necessary to buy expensive gifts and eat at fancy restaurants. And, with social media being the driving force of real time information, everyone’s in a competition to see who can buy the biggest and the best of everything so that it can posted, tweeted and instant messaged for all to see. But, is this the true meaning of love? Valentine’s Day is one day. We have 365 days in a year (366 during leap year). Are you any less loved or cared for during those times?
The truth is, not everyone can afford to buy expensive gifts. Not everyone can afford to buy gifts period. That doesn’t mean that you are any less loved or valued. It doesn’t mean that the love you have for others should be measured by what you can provide with material options. Love is an action word, and that action can be displayed in the time you spend with those that you love and care about. Say I love you. Talk about those things that make the person special. Compliment their cooking. Want to do something tangible? Create a list of 10 things that make that person great. Put them on note cards and place them in areas that the intended reader is certain to find them.
Just a quick note to say that if you’re reading this, thank you! I appreciate you. You took out the time to read what I had to say, and for that, I am grateful. My way of showing the community that I care is through my blogs and hosting the radio show, Boots on the Ground. I also do my best to be transparent in the way that I speak and carry myself. I give what I can financially to individuals and organizations. I often write handwritten notes to send out to others to say thank you, I appreciate you or I love you. I do it randomly throughout the year. I feel that these are some way to REALLY show someone how you feel about them. I encourage each of you to act in accordance to your means to express love and appreciation. And, concentrate on letting everyday serve as an opportunity to love yourself and others. Society as a whole may label February as the specific time to express it, but real love shouldn’t be defined by a day, but rather, by consistent actions that can be seen, felt, heard and remembered long after February has come and gone.
