Last week, I had the pleasure of spending time with Mildred Muhammad. While many around the globe know her as the ex-wife of the DC Sniper and being an amazing speaker and author, I am pleased to say that I have a different type of relationship with her.
I am proud to call her my sister, friend, colleague and fellow warrior in bringing education, awareness and overall change regarding issues related to domestic violence and sexual assault. When I first reached out to her, it was to be a guest on our nonprofit’s radio show, Boots on the Ground. Keep in mind, I’ve been following her for years. But, because of her celebrity, I was actually afraid to reach out to her, fearing that we were too small and she would not have time. But, because I do not believe that we should live or operate in the spirit of fear, I decided to go ahead and contact her. She was soooooo easy going and personable. I felt a real sense of conviction come over me. She was quite humble and graciously accepted the invitation to be our special guest.
But, it is what happened afterwards that makes knowing her more meaningful for me. She made me feel comfortable to share things I hadn’t shared with others. There are times when you just feel the need to keep your thoughts guarded, even when you need to share them. She advised me. She encouraged me. She corrected me. She reminded me. She made time for me. I knew from that moment on, I had a genuine connection with her. It wasn’t about social media likes or bragging about ‘who you know’. I know if I need her or just want to catch up, laugh or vent, I can do it. And, I believe she knows the same is true for her with me.
So, even though she was busy with speaking, workshops, book signings and radio interviews last week, she made certain we spent time together. It was not advertised. No selfies were taken to be posted.lol Just two sisters who share a foundation of faith and like minded spirits chatting. And, if you’re reading this and have not yet ordered the book, you can do so using this link: http://www.mildredmuhammad.com/publications.html
Today is National Day on Writing. To know me is to know I love speaking and presenting. But, writing is the foundation for which I’ve relied on to get me through some of the best and worst times of my life. I absolutely love writing and what it has done for me. It’s an honor to say I’m a published author who has made Amazon’s Best Seller’s List. So, how did I get my start?
My 3rd grade teacher, always encouraged us to write. She often spoke to us about black writers and poets. She told me I was a good writer and encouraged me to keep writing. She said it was a good way to express my thoughts and feelings. She entered my work in the Gwendolyn Brooks Poetry Contest, an annual event hosted in Chicago. I didn’t win, but just knowing that she thought enough of my work to enter it meant the world to me!
I’ve been writing ever since. Short stories, poems, journals. I created a business centered around content writing. I’ve always wanted to be an attorney and writer. Being an attorney would give the me opportunity to present, which I enjoy. Writing would give me a voice in print. It would help me to connect with others who share my point of view and/or have an open dialogue with those of varying opinions. I wanted to be able to teach others how to use writing in their persona and professional lives. Well, as life would have it, I did not become an attorney. However, I am a speaker and presenter. And, I am still writing. I continue to seek out opportunities for my passions.
Are you a writer? If so, why do you write? Today’s a great day to reflect on your why. Or, if you’ve been thinking about doing it, now’s a great day to start. #WhyIWrite
This year, I have been nominated for a Tri-State Defender’s Best In Black Award in the category of Best Author/Writer. Voting can be done once a day until July 28th by going to the following link: www.bestinblackawards.com. I’m in category #6.
It’s always an honor to be acknowledged for the work I do. I enjoy every opportunity I receive to speak and present. But, writing is something I’ve done off and on since I was in the 3rd grade. It’s been a wonderful way for me to express myself, connect with my feelings and keep up with the peaks and valleys of my life. I don’t think people really know just how writing means to me. So, to have an opportunity for others to take notice of this side of me is an awesome feeling. I want to win, well, because I just do!LOL But, just being in the company of the others in this this category means a lot.
Tri-State Defender is a weekly newspaper published in print as well as a daily online presence in Memphis, TN. Started in 2012, the Best In Black Awards is one of the ways in which they celebrate the work of African Americans in business and community involvement.
If you’re reading this, I hope you’ll vote for me and spread the word! While you’re voting for me, check out the other categories and cast your votes. You may find you know others whom I’m sure would also appreciate your support.
I posted this picture on facebook in November, 2008. I think I look pretty cute in it! It was part of a photo shoot I participated in for JD Westbrook photography. I was even featured on a flyer to promote his business. It was different and fun to do. As I write this, I’m not even sure if Mr. Westbrook is still in the photography business. I will have to check, so I can thank him for capturing this moment for me for a reason that neither of us considered when it was taken. This picture was taken approximately four months after I left my abusive marriage for good. Knowing what I now know about abuse, I understand that abuse doesn’t ‘look’ the way many of us perceive it to be.
Physical abuse is probably the easiest to recognize because, well, it’s visible. You see the black eyes and broken teeth. You see the bruises and dislocated arms. The various news outlets show us the physical side of abuse on a daily basis. But, what you don’t see nearly as often is the other types of abuse. Abuse can be emotional, sexual, financial, ritual, religious and psychological. It knows no race, color, religion, sexual orientation, educational background or social status.
Now, when I took this picture, I still hadn’t really considered the fact that what I had been experiencing was abuse. In my mind, I still only considered physical abuse to be the only ‘real’ abuse. We didn’t have physical altercations. I left because I was tired of me and my children being in an unhealthy and unstable environment. It wasn’t until I was encouraged to go to counseling that I realized that I had been abused in ways that have taken me years to come to terms with. The picture you see is a reflection of a college educated woman with a county job and involved in her community. It also represents a woman who was holistically broken and unsure of herself.
What I hope the picture does is show you there is no ‘look’ to a person dealing with or overcoming domestic abuse. The physical scars are what you notice first. But, if you look and listen a bit more closely, you’ll discover more individuals have been or currently going through abuse and may not even know it. And, as it was revealed to me in my own life, you may further discover that the one having gone through or going through the abuse is you! When I saw the picture and noticed the date, I almost cried. It is a true example of what it means to not look like what you’ve been through.
National Small Business Week for 2017 is from April 30th through May 6th. In honor of NSBW, I am offering the sale of my book at 10% off. And…I’m offering $100 off on all of my services. If you’re interested in taking advantage of these savings, please email me at joyce@joycekyles.com & I will send you a special invoice to reflect the discount of your selected product and/or service.
When you support a small business, you’re supporting individuals who have taken the brave step to work for themselves. You’re supporting someone else’s dreams of self sufficiency and entrepreneurship. I look forward to working with everyone who trusts me with their personal and professional goals, dreams and aspirations. I am humbled by every book purchase, and I hope that readers find it to be easy to read and helpful in their pursuit of holistic restoration.
