I had the pleasure of being a guest on the “My Sister’s Keeper” segement of the Coach Karren Todd show on 88.5fm alongside Rev. Autura Eason-Williams.
We had a great discussion and Q&A with listeners. Watch the video broadcast here.
I certainly hope everyone enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend overall. For many of us, it was a time well spent with family and friends. It was a time to enjoy great food, fun and fellowship with those that we love. Many of us created some wonderful memories. We also reflected on those whom we may have lost over the past year. Thanksgiving is typically thought of as just that-a time of giving thanks for all things wonderful.
I certainly did a lot of that this year. All three of my grandchildren came to our home this year, and it was certainly a joy to watch them interact with one another. My daughters now have children of their own. Their children are cousins. My youngest grandchild, a girl, is almost two years old. So, she’s at an age where she understands pretty well, speaks plenty of understandable words and has more energy than most of us! I helped to deliver each of them, and it has given my heart great joy to watch them grow up. I have two granddaughters and one grandson, which is identical to my own children. However, the boy is the oldest grandchild. My son is the youngest. The funniest part of all is that we ALL say my grandson acts exactly like my son. They haven’t always spent time around each other, so where is comes from is still a bit of a mystery in a way.
But, it’s important to be thankful for the valley moments. It’s not an easy thing to do. In fact, it can be nearly impossible at times. But, it makes us stronger. It makes us more appreciative of the peaks we enjoy. The valley puts us in a position to test our faith, accept our truth and most of all, remind us that we are human. Being human means that you’re going to make some mistakes. Everything will not be perfect. You’re going to experience hurt and loss. You’re not going to be treated fairly.
I’ve definitely had my valley moments. In fact, I’m having a bit of a valley experience even as I write this blog. What I encourage you to do is to acknowledge that you’re going through the valley. Acknowledge it to yourself and then to someone you trust. Don’t stay in the valley alone or for too long. Let someone know you’re in there so they can help you get out! There’s strength in vulnerability. Be thankful that you’re able to recognize that things aren’t where you need, want and/or desire them to be. You recognize that the situation will get better and/or you have come into an acceptance about where you are and what’s to come. When you do that, there’s a whole world of situations that you can look at and say you’re thankful-the good, the bad and the challenging.
When we were in grammar school, we were taught the concept of stop, drop and roll in case of a fire. I have found this approach to be useful in my personal and professional journey of growth.
STOP: Sometime, we have to place ourselves Under Construction. If you broke your foot, you would wear a medical boot. People will see it, recognize that you’re not matching, but they will understand. When you’ve healed and you’re ready, you will remove the boot and the world will see your new and improved look. The same is true with your website or any other social media presence. It’s ok to put up an “Under Construction” page for awhile. People will see that you’ve shut down, but they will understand that you’re going through a transformation process to improve. For those who feel like they must leave it up because they’re going to miss out on something or someone, ask yourself what type of people are you attracting with misinformation, misspelled words or outdated content. Anyone who’s looking to take your brand seriously will not give you the time of day if what you have to offer isn’t a clean, clear and functional representation of your brand.
When we get dressed, we always check the mirror to make sure our makeup is on point, our shoes, dress, purse, tie, pocket square, etc… is a good coordinated compliment to our overall appearance and presentation. People notice if you are wearing one red shoe and one black shoe. They notice if your pants are too long, your dress is too tight or if your perfume is too loud. People will look at you strange and talk about you. You will end up being somebody’s meme. The same is true for whatever business you’re in. Just as we go back to the mirror to double check our appearance, we also have to go back from time to time to make sure that our cyber world hasn’t been hacked and that it’s working properly.
Drop: It’s all about proximity. I was watching an episode of Shark Tank and Damon John was offering advice to a contestant. His paraphrased statement: “It’s all about proximity. If you hang out with four broke people, guess what? You’ll be number five.” Steve Harvey says that his dad told him that the best thing he could do for broke people is not to be one of them. As I work to grow and establish myself holistically, I often reflect on these two statements. Who am I hanging around? Are these people adding value to my life? Am I adding value to theirs? Broke isn’t always in finances, as I’ve dealt with a number of people who were also broken in spirit and time. They have of time for drama, gossip, pity parties, Real Housewives of whomever and yet, they have legitimate issues that are legitimately affecting their overall quality of life. However, you have to be willing to put yourself in a position of prosperity. You have to be open for change. And, most of all, you have to put in the work. Sometimes, you have to be creative in your creativity and ask for help. Put yourself in a position to receive the things you say you want and need. You have to do it mentally AND physically.
Roll: Move your brand in the intended direction. People will treat you and your brand in accordance to what you’re showing them. I remember having this great video made of me to promote my new business and the videographer thought it would be good to incorporate my ‘why’ for the business. The result? People who saw it viewed me as an abuse survivor who became an entrepreneur rather than an entrepreneur who is also a survivor. I found myself being sought after for my advocacy, and my business became secondary. It took me nearly two years before I realized that I’d inadvertently misdirected potential business in a different direction. I branded myself the wrong way. Since that time, I’ve removed the video altogether from my site. I use the video for advocacy speaking and training purposes.
Remember to stop, drop and roll when considering which direction to go in and eliminate the potential fires that could result in moving by the wrong direction.