We would love to have you join us for this much needed discussion as we are approaching Domestic Violence Awareness month. Please see the following link for all of the details and registration information: https://www.womensadvocacycenter.org/forum
On November 5, 2016, I hosted my organization’s 6th Annual Men’s Domestic Violence Awareness program. This year, I chose to co-host the event with our Family Safety Center. The purpose is to bring our community together to promote and encourage male involvement, mentoring, education and healthy relationships. We also make honorary presentations for male advocates, with a specific emphasis on domestic violence. I strategically host this event on the 1st Saturday following Domestic Violence Awareness month. I believe it keeps the conversation going, adding the component of showing the positive side of male advocacy and their involvement to help end violence against women.
The following week, on November 8, 2016, the U.S. Presidential election took place. After spending the weekend celebrating men who engage in efforts to eradicate violence against women, I watched in disbelief as the country voted to place a man in office whose comments about various groups, including minorities and women, have been disturbing, to say the least.
I am saddened to see that what I continue to feel and experience in my own community has come to pass in reality as a whole across our nation. The selection of our new President shows that a high level of fear, celebrity and the acceptance of ‘locker room talk’ among other issues, is alive and well. It also shows that those of us who serve in a leadership capacity have to continue pushing our local, state and national legislators to hold those accountable for establishing and/or furthering to incite the social, racial and economic injustices that have caused various minority communities to feel even less likely to trust or believe for equality and long term change.
Furthermore, it is noteworthy to mention that our President elect won based on the electoral college and not the popular vote. After researching the history of how the electoral college was formed in the first place, it appears that the voices of minorities were not part of that establishment. I’m a woman of color living in a southern ‘red’ state. I’m definitely a boots on the ground type of community leader, and yes I voted. And, while my vote DID matter in terms of my right to do so, that vote went up against a systematically strong alliance that continues to show up as a powerful, united front.
What does all of this mean for me as a minority women in leadership? It serves as a personal and professional reminder that I/we still have a lot of work to do. There are current laws that need to be examined, challenged and changed. I’m more determined to ensure that my voice and the voices of other minorities are heard, respected and protected. As a woman of color & community leader, I have an obligation to serve my community, ensure they understand their right to speak up and out regarding issues of equality and justice, and demand that tangible resources are made available to further enhance their quality of life. Hopefully, the new President will sincerely examine our country’s issues, challenges and concerns in a way that will encourage him to adopt a different perspective and work for holistic justice and equality.
I’m extremely honored to have been selected as the Mommy Maven of the week for the week of 10/8/15! So, just what is The Mommy Maven? It was founded in 2011 by LaTersa Blakely as an outlet to provide stay home mothers and mom entrepreneurs with useful content on how to balance having successful homes and businesses. The articles, tips, videos, etc. are outstanding. And, while all of my children have just crossed over the adulthood threshold, I was able to share my insights on how and why I started my journey of writing, speaking and training, the impact it had on me as a mother and some tips for those who may be starting out!
I’m attaching the link here and hope that you’ll take a few moments to read it. http://momswearingmultiplehats.com/
A really good friend once told me that I should always have three routes in mind when planning to go anywhere. I always thought that at least two were sufficient. But, after a severe storm, extremely bad accident and two separate unsuccessful routes, I found myself sitting in my car on the side of the road, trying to figure out what to do and where to go next. I turned on my radio to get an update on the weather, and while listening to the reports, the announcer mentioned the extremely bad accident which had me going in circles trying to get to my destination. He mentioned some alternate routes. I looked up and realized that one of routes he mentioned happened to be two blocks from where I’d parked. I started my car, proceeded with caution and made it safely to my destination.
Never allow anyone to tell you or make you feel that there is one specific way to conquer domestic violence. There isn’t. Our experiences, levels of abuse and support system are just a few of the factors one should take into an account when deciding how to proceed with the transition from victim to victorious. One may find that the most common, traditional methods to recovery are not effective. Sometimes, the most successful road is the one less traveled. Choose alternate routes, various methods and combine your plans as necessary. Even an effective plan is subject to glitches and bumps along the way. Consult with trustworthy individuals who can help you create alternate routes and follow them as necessary. But, like GPS, people are not always 100% accurate, and therefore, it is imperative that you also rely on your own instincts and judgments and implement them when appropriate. This allows you to have some input and control of your destination, while realizing that help is appropriate and acceptable to insure that you’re staying on task. There are many effective roads available to reach the ultimate goal of survival, and no one route will ever prove to be the right one for everyone. Find the one(s) that work best for you (or someone you know), proceed with caution and make it to your destination.
Transition can be difficult, and the journey to self sufficiency is not an easy one to travel. Making the decision to leave an abusive situation is often times emotionally challenging. It is only the beginning. The mental, physical, spiritual, financial and educational barriers can prove to be overwhelming without the proper support and guidance. Helplessness, fear, shame, anxiety and uncertainty are common feelings. Compound with potentially limited education and a lack of substantial resources, the transition can be overwhelming.
If you’ve ever spent any time talking with a battered man or woman, you cannot help but feel their hurt and pain. I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with a lot of men and women to talk to them about everything from teen issues, HIV/AIDS to homelessness. The common thread was that much of what I heard dealt with some sort of domestic violence. I have laughed and cried with them, shared their triumphs and their trials and know first hand what it’s like to walk in their shoes. Unless you’ve been in this situation, it is not fair to pass judgments on why a person stays with their abuser or how they ended up homeless. What is key is to take the knowledge of that person’s hurt and show them how to channel it into something powerful and meaningful.
Walking Into A New Life is the nonprofit organization for which I serve as Executive Director. It is just what the name says-walking. The road to a victorious recovery takes time, patience and will. You will not and should not expect to simply just ‘get over it’. It is perfectly alright to take your time, monitor your steps and measure your level of progress.
Education plays a vital role in the survival process. Education of life is just as important as any formal setting of higher learning. The key to holistic wellness hinges on the level of education you receive to assist with recognizing your talents, skills and abilities. Once the various levels of education have been addressed, your level of self esteem is increased and you can begin to take charge of your life. I look forward to spending more time with men and women who want and need hope and encouragement to take that first step, discover and/or enhance their talents, own and maintain their own businesses and ready to live full, productive lives.