I had the privilege of being able to share a few insights as an invited guest for the Culturally Relevant Victim Centered Approaches training in Nashville, TN. It was hosted by the Women of Color Network, Inc. out of Pennsylvania. I’m a graduate of the LEAP Cohort 3 Fellows program WOCN developed along with CALCASA (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault). While I’m glad to have had the opportunity to share my perspective from a personal as well as professional perspective, I learned a great deal of useful information & a deeper appreciation for the need for such programs to be implemented and discussed on an ongoing basis.
One of the most interesting parts about the training was our discussion on biases and the exercises we did surrounding those biases. There were some attendees who were a bit uncomfortable. I think it’s a good thing. In order to better understand how to effectively assist victims and survivors, we must be honest with ourselves about how we view people as well as how we view ourselves when interacting with them.
I am hopeful to have the chance to facilitate training on this subject and will be pushing for agencies, businesses and anyone working with abuse survivors to take part in the discussion. I believe it will also prove to be helpful for personal development and the ability to work more efficiently with staff/fellow co-workers.
June is nationally recognized as Pride Month. It’s an opportunity to recognize and show a solidarity of support for the LGBT community. Men and women who lost their lives due to HIV/AIDS and hate crimes are remembered. What started as a Gay Pride Day has grown tremendously. Unfortunately, the LGBT community deals with domestic violence with less support and resources. There is still a lot of debate centered around gay marriages, transgender bathrooms and an overall respect for one to live his or her life in the way that’s most comfortable. Even though there are a number of barriers which still need to be addressed, I’ve seen a positive surge of help, hope, support, acceptance and most of all, love over the years.
Nationally, we as a society just paid tribute to the 49 lives lost last year at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, FL. It was a senseless crime carried out based on a foundation of hate. The way the family members and friends have come together after this tragedy has definitely been inspiring. It is my hope as we continue to address the many intersections of domestic violence that we include and enforce tougher laws on hate crimes and provide more inclusive means to support ALL communities in need of services. Abuse knows no boundaries and neither should service providers or elected officials when it comes to providing resources and holistic support.
June is recognized as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness month. It is commonly referred to PTSD. By definition, it is a mental health condition some people develop after a traumatic experience. Most often, PTSD is associated with someone who has served in combat while in the military. Over the years, it is now being recognized among individuals who’ve experienced other types of trauma. Examples include a life threatening event, domestic abuse or sexual assault. PTSD is oftentimes overlooked. However, far more people suffer from it than most of us could possibly imagine.
For me, it was not something I even realized I suffered from until I was sitting in a workshop a few years ago. The topic was PTSD and the facilitator is the Director of The Athena Project here in Memphis. As she described the symptoms, I found myself becoming overwhelmed with emotions. I cried. Not so much because I realized in that moment that she was describing me and my life. I cried because for the first time in my life, I felt like I had an explanation for why certain things affect me the way they do. It was a sigh of relief. My feelings finally had a name, and the name was PTSD.
If you are reading this, I strongly encourage you to check out the following link: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/ptsd-overview/basics/what-is-ptsd.asp It’s from the Department of Veterans Affairs. It provides some great information regarding PTSD, including knowing the signs and getting help. If you’re in the Memphis, TN area, please reach out to The Athena Project: http://www.memphis.edu/athena/
National Small Business Week for 2017 is from April 30th through May 6th. In honor of NSBW, I am offering the sale of my book at 10% off. And…I’m offering $100 off on all of my services. If you’re interested in taking advantage of these savings, please email me at joyce@joycekyles.com & I will send you a special invoice to reflect the discount of your selected product and/or service.
When you support a small business, you’re supporting individuals who have taken the brave step to work for themselves. You’re supporting someone else’s dreams of self sufficiency and entrepreneurship. I look forward to working with everyone who trusts me with their personal and professional goals, dreams and aspirations. I am humbled by every book purchase, and I hope that readers find it to be easy to read and helpful in their pursuit of holistic restoration.
Today, I listened to our local news give a report on a 35 yr old man living in Canada who tried to lure a 13 yr old girl for sex. Over the past couple of week, I’ve listened to reports of sexual assault and the number of rape kits still untested in our city. I won’t even start on the multiple murders and abuse cases reported related to domestic violence over the past month. Housing for victims of abuse is extremely limited and the criteria, in many cases, doesn’t fit the clients that need a place to stay. Lately, those serving the community in a professional capacity are the ones being arrested. By professional, I mean police officers, attorneys and public officials. I know our city isn’t alone in much of this. But, Memphis is the city I live in, and therefore, I feel I must continue to push here and work as best as I know how to spread awareness and challenge action. I’m talking tangible action. I’m talking accountable action.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. I encourage everyone reading this to please take a look at this link for additional information about sexual assault, rape, etc: https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault
I want to encourage the following:
Have a conversation with your tweens/teens about sex, good touches, bad touches and social media. If you feel you need to look through their phones and computers-DO IT! It’s not about their privacy. It’s about their safety. What they feel is harmless or meaningless is oftentimes the very things that predators are looking for. Make sure you’re spending quality time with your tweens/teens. Listen to them. What you don’t want is for them to feel they must look for love and affection from a stranger.
If you have been sexually assaulted, report it. Get counseling. Seek justice. Your voice and your feelings matter! Don’t let anyone make you believe anything different. Silence is what the perpetrator is relying on. If you’re a family member or friend, be supportive. Believe the person who’s been assaulted. Do not judge or offer your ‘what I would have done’ attitude because you really can’t say for sure what action you may have taken, and honestly, it’s not what a victim nor survivor needs to hear.
Get involved-PLEASE. See something-say something. Write letters to your local and state officials. When it’s time to vote, see where politicians stand on the issues that matter to you. Vote them in OR OUT! Volunteer your time to support groups as a peer mentor. Receive certifications from places like the local Memphis Child Advocacy Center or National Organization for Victims Assistance (NOVA).
