I posted this picture on facebook in November, 2008. I think I look pretty cute in it! It was part of a photo shoot I participated in for JD Westbrook photography. I was even featured on a flyer to promote his business. It was different and fun to do. As I write this, I’m not even sure if Mr. Westbrook is still in the photography business. I will have to check, so I can thank him for capturing this moment for me for a reason that neither of us considered when it was taken. This picture was taken approximately four months after I left my abusive marriage for good. Knowing what I now know about abuse, I understand that abuse doesn’t ‘look’ the way many of us perceive it to be.
Physical abuse is probably the easiest to recognize because, well, it’s visible. You see the black eyes and broken teeth. You see the bruises and dislocated arms. The various news outlets show us the physical side of abuse on a daily basis. But, what you don’t see nearly as often is the other types of abuse. Abuse can be emotional, sexual, financial, ritual, religious and psychological. It knows no race, color, religion, sexual orientation, educational background or social status.
Now, when I took this picture, I still hadn’t really considered the fact that what I had been experiencing was abuse. In my mind, I still only considered physical abuse to be the only ‘real’ abuse. We didn’t have physical altercations. I left because I was tired of me and my children being in an unhealthy and unstable environment. It wasn’t until I was encouraged to go to counseling that I realized that I had been abused in ways that have taken me years to come to terms with. The picture you see is a reflection of a college educated woman with a county job and involved in her community. It also represents a woman who was holistically broken and unsure of herself.
What I hope the picture does is show you there is no ‘look’ to a person dealing with or overcoming domestic abuse. The physical scars are what you notice first. But, if you look and listen a bit more closely, you’ll discover more individuals have been or currently going through abuse and may not even know it. And, as it was revealed to me in my own life, you may further discover that the one having gone through or going through the abuse is you! When I saw the picture and noticed the date, I almost cried. It is a true example of what it means to not look like what you’ve been through.
This past weekend, I was a vendor at an event for an organization called Beautiful Spirited Women. I learned of this organization while chatting with a young lady affiliated with them. It was a networking function for a company that she nor I are currently connected to. But, the information she shared with me about BSW was inspirational right from the beginning. Eventually, I would meet the Executive Director and that one meeting has turned into years of friendships, sisterhood and a dedication on my part to donate my time, talent and sometimes, finances to them whenever I can. I’ve always done it because I believe in their cause to help tweens/teens to develop the holistic skills they need to grow into powerful, courageous, strong women leaders for themselves, their families and their communities. I’ve not expected anything in return.
So, when the Executive Director talked about this year’s honorary member being a woman of service, dedication to the organization and the work she does in the community, I intently sat there waiting, like everyone else, to see who they were talking about. When she said my name, I was completely caught off guard. I cried…not a big surprise to anyone who knows me. It’s is an honor for me, and I’m extremely humbled by their love and respect for me and what I do.
For anyone who may be reading this, always know that someone is watching what you do-good or bad. Someone’s always paying attention. The key is to be found doing your best. Be a good steward over your finances. Be a listening ear for someone who just needs to be heard. Help those who are in need of kindness, love, support and sometimes, just a big, warm smile and heartfelt hello. Do what you do from your heart and not for accolades and fanfare. You never know who will recognize you and in what way. Thank you to Beautiful Spirited Women for honoring me as I honor you and your commitment to our young people. To learn more about BSW, click here: https://www.facebook.com/beautifulspiritedwomen
I’m excited about my latest accomplishment. I signed up to receive requests for writers on various topics through Help A Reporter Out, also known as HARO. I saw a request for blogging insights and decided to submit my information. I was pleasantly surprised to receive an email stating my insights were accepted and included in the article.
MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ve been selected as a finalist for the upcoming #IALAwards to be held in Baltimore, MD on Saturday, June 24, 2017. Learn more about this groundbreaking event at www.IndieAuthorLegacyAwards.com
This honor is HUGE for me. I view my experiences as lessons. It has always been my hope to help others to restore their lives holistically. My life has transitioned in a tremendously positive way. And, I’ve been able to speak, teach and train locally and nationally because of it. I want to always be found being a servant leader, and it’s an honor to have others notice my efforts in a way worthy of acknowledgment. If you’re in the Baltimore, MD area in June (or will be in the area), it would be great to see you at the event.
It was my honor to serve as the keynote speaker for Fresh Touch Publicity’s Annual HERoine Awards. The theme was Walking the Paved Road. Seven women were honored who have successfully overcome obstacles from all walks of life. For some, it was abuse. For others, it was health and wellness issues. For all, it was an opportunity for them to be honored for not only overcoming, but serving in the community and paying it forward to help others to do the same.
The program also served as a way to pay homage to women who’ve paved the way before us. Without their sacrifices, we would not be able to enjoy many of the rights and freedoms that we now experience. There was a magazine reveal, delicious brunch and tons of celebration and reflection.
TeeJay Jefferson, owner of Fresh Touch Publicity is a wonderful young woman whose vision, spirit and desire to uplift women goes far beyond her years. I am happy to have served in this capacity and given the chance to share my insights in such an honorable way.
