Like millions of others, I watched the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards ceremony. The solidarity in the room was evident. Many of the attendees wore black in support of the #metoo and #timesup movement regarding sexual assault and inequality. Among the attendees were advocates who have worked tirelessly in this effort and have gone under the radar. It was wonderful to see them on the red carpet with those who have a celebrity platform, and that platform is being used to raise awareness and push for change. Sterling K. Brown’s acceptance speech for Best Actor in a Drama series pretty much summed up how I strive to be seen. And, then there’s Oprah Winfrey. How could you NOT be moved to tears, excitement and inspiration after THAT speech? I am printing out their speeches & placing them on my wall. My voice is here to stay!
I have replayed those speeches multiple times this morning and cried each time. Why? Because I’ve been planning for weeks to write what I’m about to share. Each time I would begin to write, I would stop. I think it’s because I didn’t think at this stage of my life that it wouldn’t matter. But, over the past few months, I’ve talked with other advocates and speakers near and far. I appreciate more and more that I’m not the only one who’s gone through this or may be going through it now.
I started talking about domestic violence and sexual assault more formally in 2010. I didn’t intend to do it on a regular basis. I’d just started a web design and writing business. It included a a cause inspired idea to sell t-shirts. They were created with the intention of me selling them and donating a portion of the proceeds to a particular agency. I shared my why and put together a proposal. I also met individuals who were already working in these areas and was even invited to a meeting to learn more about other women’s organizations and the possibility of membership to one in particular. I began speaking at more events, freely sharing my story and time. Here I was, telling my story and eager to work with and support any and every body I could in the hope of helping others. I thought everyone would be excited to see this humble, brave, bold survivor share her story and be willing to fight for the cause. Talk about naive.
The truth is, the agency I wanted to work didn’t want to work with me. I was told (so keep in mind that this is hearsay) that when someone brought my name up in a meeting, the director questioned who I was and why would they want to work with me. While there was interest by at least one person, the one that mattered never got on board and never responded to my direct phone calls or emails. Needless to say, I eventually gave up on the idea, and I never chose to say anything about what I heard. One, it was hearsay, and two, I got the answer I needed when I never got an answer. Months later, I would meet the deciding individual at an event and introduce myself. The response? I know who you are, shook my hand and walked away to chat with others.
And, I never received the formal application for membership. As I talked with different women in the room, it became painfully clear that I wasn’t an affluent member of society. Being in that room made me feel like a small black woman who had a good ‘survivor story’ but that was about it. But, when I made the decision to host my first domestic violence event, I was sent an email by one of those same organizers. I was told that there were already a number of DV events going on and not wanting to have any conflicts. I was asked to tell the individual more about my plans. I didn’t respond. Instead, I went forward with my plans to host the first of what would be several events.
I’ve encountered more of the same over the years. Sadly, I still have peers, and in some cases, even friends who directly or indirectly marginalize me. They don’t see the value of my voice or the sincerity and passion for which I operate. Unfortunately, there will always be those who met me when I was coming out of my victimization and that is how they will always see me. That is not my concern. They don’t dwell in the places and spaces I strive to go. I am m not stuck in my past. I am proud of the way my past has given me strength, courage and direction.
I will keep doing the work with a smile on my face. I do it because I want to help as many people as I can to become holistically healed, self sufficient and able to speak their truth with confidence and support. I am inspired by the men and women who tell me I helped them in some way. I am forever thankful for the outpouring of love and support of those who embrace me, work with me, mentor me and share a heart to help our communities. It far outweighs the negative direct/indirect actions of a few. If I my words and actions have positively impacted others, I’m doing the right thing and for the right reasons. I came into this work with a boots on the ground mentality. My ultimate goal is to use that mentality in a way that will help to support policy regarding the intersections of domestic violence and other social justice issues. My voice isn’t going anywhere. As we enter into a new year, I’m excited about the places and spaces I plan to use my voice even more.
I’m pleased to share I launched a new book entitled “You Need It, I Got It!” and it made the Best Seller’s List. I am over the moon with excitement as I am now a 2x Best Selling Author. I am one of sixteen co-authors for this amazing book. I’d love to have you purchase it by using my special link here: http://bit.ly/igotit-joyce
Here’s a brief description of the book:
With almost 30 million entrepreneurs in the United States alone, it is easy to get lost in the shuffle, causing you to be overlooked, overworked, and overwhelmed in your business. To stand out, it is imperative for you as a business owner to foster brand sensibility and effectively market, and most importantly, follow through with the unique solutions you can offer to your ideal audience.
Compiled by Multi-Award-Winning Entrepreneur, Tieshena Davis, You Need It, I Got It spotlights sixteen trusted coaches, consultants, and advisors who share industry-specific lessons and strategies to teach you how to conquer common entrepreneurial challenges, tailor your passions to guarantee the betterment of your business, and dominate in your niche. Through transparent advice on tried-and-tested practices for success, this book provides an invaluable space for you to connect with global leaders in entrepreneurship and use their expertise to build on your own, making it possible for you to grow your audience, increase your visibility, and expand your influence.
The University of Memphis recently hosted its annual Title IX Summit. Title IX is a comprehensive federal law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex in any federally funded education program or activity. To learn more about the history of Title IX , it’s importance, compliance and more by reading here: https://www.justice.gov/crt/overview-title-ix-education-amendments-1972-20-usc-1681-et-seq
I enjoyed the opportunity to be one of the presenters. I was asked to present on the cycle of abuse. It’s important for those working with students understand the dynamics of abuse, as more and more employees are coming in contact with individuals being abused. They need to be able to recognize the signs in order to best serve their needs when issues arise. They also need to understand the mindset of those who are going through abuse. By doing so, it will help them to have a better understanding of their struggles and in some cases, help to remove certain perceptions. Students will feel more comfortable with reporting, understanding their rights and having adequate support and referrals for additional programs and services.
I had the privilege of being able to share a few insights as an invited guest for the Culturally Relevant Victim Centered Approaches training in Nashville, TN. It was hosted by the Women of Color Network, Inc. out of Pennsylvania. I’m a graduate of the LEAP Cohort 3 Fellows program WOCN developed along with CALCASA (California Coalition Against Sexual Assault). While I’m glad to have had the opportunity to share my perspective from a personal as well as professional perspective, I learned a great deal of useful information & a deeper appreciation for the need for such programs to be implemented and discussed on an ongoing basis.
One of the most interesting parts about the training was our discussion on biases and the exercises we did surrounding those biases. There were some attendees who were a bit uncomfortable. I think it’s a good thing. In order to better understand how to effectively assist victims and survivors, we must be honest with ourselves about how we view people as well as how we view ourselves when interacting with them.
I am hopeful to have the chance to facilitate training on this subject and will be pushing for agencies, businesses and anyone working with abuse survivors to take part in the discussion. I believe it will also prove to be helpful for personal development and the ability to work more efficiently with staff/fellow co-workers.
This year, I have been nominated for a Tri-State Defender’s Best In Black Award in the category of Best Author/Writer. Voting can be done once a day until July 28th by going to the following link: www.bestinblackawards.com. I’m in category #6.
It’s always an honor to be acknowledged for the work I do. I enjoy every opportunity I receive to speak and present. But, writing is something I’ve done off and on since I was in the 3rd grade. It’s been a wonderful way for me to express myself, connect with my feelings and keep up with the peaks and valleys of my life. I don’t think people really know just how writing means to me. So, to have an opportunity for others to take notice of this side of me is an awesome feeling. I want to win, well, because I just do!LOL But, just being in the company of the others in this this category means a lot.
Tri-State Defender is a weekly newspaper published in print as well as a daily online presence in Memphis, TN. Started in 2012, the Best In Black Awards is one of the ways in which they celebrate the work of African Americans in business and community involvement.
If you’re reading this, I hope you’ll vote for me and spread the word! While you’re voting for me, check out the other categories and cast your votes. You may find you know others whom I’m sure would also appreciate your support.
