by Joyce Kyles | Apr 29, 2017 | Blog, News
Today, I listened to our local news give a report on a 35 yr old man living in Canada who tried to lure a 13 yr old girl for sex. Over the past couple of week, I’ve listened to reports of sexual assault and the number of rape kits still untested in our city. I won’t even start on the multiple murders and abuse cases reported related to domestic violence over the past month. Housing for victims of abuse is extremely limited and the criteria, in many cases, doesn’t fit the clients that need a place to stay. Lately, those serving the community in a professional capacity are the ones being arrested. By professional, I mean police officers, attorneys and public officials. I know our city isn’t alone in much of this. But, Memphis is the city I live in, and therefore, I feel I must continue to push here and work as best as I know how to spread awareness and challenge action. I’m talking tangible action. I’m talking accountable action.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. I encourage everyone reading this to please take a look at this link for additional information about sexual assault, rape, etc: https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault
I want to encourage the following:
Have a conversation with your tweens/teens about sex, good touches, bad touches and social media. If you feel you need to look through their phones and computers-DO IT! It’s not about their privacy. It’s about their safety. What they feel is harmless or meaningless is oftentimes the very things that predators are looking for. Make sure you’re spending quality time with your tweens/teens. Listen to them. What you don’t want is for them to feel they must look for love and affection from a stranger.
If you have been sexually assaulted, report it. Get counseling. Seek justice. Your voice and your feelings matter! Don’t let anyone make you believe anything different. Silence is what the perpetrator is relying on. If you’re a family member or friend, be supportive. Believe the person who’s been assaulted. Do not judge or offer your ‘what I would have done’ attitude because you really can’t say for sure what action you may have taken, and honestly, it’s not what a victim nor survivor needs to hear.
Get involved-PLEASE. See something-say something. Write letters to your local and state officials. When it’s time to vote, see where politicians stand on the issues that matter to you. Vote them in OR OUT! Volunteer your time to support groups as a peer mentor. Receive certifications from places like the local Memphis Child Advocacy Center or National Organization for Victims Assistance (NOVA).
by Joyce Kyles | Apr 18, 2017 | Blog
This weekend, I received the 2017 Crime Victim Advocate of the Year award. I am extremely honored and humbled to receive this award. On April 10th, I celebrated 7 years of speaking about my abuse for the 1st time in a public setting. So, to receive such an award at this stage of my life is a personal and professional joy.
My life has definitely had it’s share of peaks and valleys. It has been an honor to serve my community. When I spoke about my abuse for the first time, I didn’t plan on doing it again. At the time, I really just wanted to speak my truth in a setting I felt would help the attendees to talk with their children. The conference for which I chose to share was not a domestic violence conference. In fact, it was for teen girls to learn about topics related to careers, self esteem and etiquette. I chose to talk about domestic violence with the parents because adults who deal with the aftermath of abuse have often seen it or experienced it as a young child or teen. I felt it was important to have the parents think about having a conversation with their children about abuse. Acting out, being an introvert, suicidal thoughts, etc could be the result of an underlying problem with abuse.
From the moment I spoke about my life, I made friends that I still have today. I ran in the 5K Sexual Assault Race this weekend with one of them. I’m the Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc. I continue to speak and present locally and nationally about personal development, overcoming adversities and becoming self sufficient. I’m committed to help others to not see themselves as victims but as survivors. Victimization is a crime. I want to always be found being a voice for those who can’t or aren’t able to speak until they have the courage and opportunity to speak for themselves.
by Joyce Kyles | Apr 3, 2017 | Blog
As Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc., it is extremely important to me that we continue to find ways to share tangible resources with victims and survivors of domestic violence. Our latest campaign involves something that everyone can participate in and doesn’t cost anything to do so. We’re asking everyone to help us collect old cellphones to help those in need to have safe and effective communication.
Verizon Wireless has a Hopeline program which collects old cellphones and accessories. The phones are reprogrammed and given to victims and survivors of abuse. Many times, those who are dealing with abuse are isolated from family and friends. They are connected to cellphone plans owned by their abuser. Their phones are monitored by the abuser. This keeps those who are being victimized from communicating freely. Providing them with cellphones provides them with safe communication and independence.
During the month of April, we will be assisting in this campaign. It doesn’t matter how old the phone is or if it’s broken. The style or brand doesn’t matter either. We just need the phones. If you want to help, it doesn’t matter where you are. You CAN help. Just ask how. Email us here: info@wianl.org.
by Joyce Kyles | Apr 25, 2016 | Blog
April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. All month, I have been participating in different activities in honor of the month and to help spread awareness & education. Each year, I also strive to do something new and challenging as a way of establishing my personal and professional growth. Most people that know me tend to associate me with being a survivor of domestic violence. And, while that is what I started my journey speaking about and my primary focus, I am also a survivor of sexual assault. I participated in a 5k race against sexual assault, and it was one of the best experiences I’ve have.
The race was hosted by the Memphis and Shelby County Domestic and Sexual Violence Council. There were 111 individuals who signed up, with 87 people who actually ran. Of the racers, I was #44 overall (which is actually my current age) and my race tag was #45 which is what I will be on my birthday this year. I’m quite proud of myself for pushing through the pain and for not being discouraged with seeing so many others run past me. There’s some great significance in my last sentence. I pushed through the physical and emotional pain of a toxic relationship to get to this point of holistic peace in my life. I’ve learned to run my own race, recognizing that everyone’s journey and experiences are different. Therefore, the way that one responds to how they address it will be different.
The most important two points I want to make in this short blog is one, to challenge yourselves to do something new and two, operate within your comfort zone. I was not in the best physical shape to run this race, but I showed up, competed and finished. I did it in 42 minutes. I learned a lot about my mental and physical self. I established a foundation for myself and will continue to exercise my mind, body and spirit. I will continue to grow stronger and continue to endure. This is the overall attitude that I have as I continue my journey as a speaker, trainer, author, radio show host, wife, mother and survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Today, I listened to our local news give a report on a 35 yr old man living in Canada who tried to lure a 13 yr old girl for sex. Over the past couple of week, I’ve listened to reports of sexual assault and the number of rape kits still untested in our city. I won’t even start on the multiple murders and abuse cases reported related to domestic violence over the past month. Housing for victims of abuse is extremely limited and the criteria, in many cases, doesn’t fit the clients that need a place to stay. Lately, those serving the community in a professional capacity are the ones being arrested. By professional, I mean police officers, attorneys and public officials. I know our city isn’t alone in much of this. But, Memphis is the city I live in, and therefore, I feel I must continue to push here and work as best as I know how to spread awareness and challenge action. I’m talking tangible action. I’m talking accountable action.
