I had the absolute pleasure of being the Keynote speaker for this year’s Project STAND event. Project STAND is an annual fundraising event designed to provide awareness and resources to victims/survivors of domestic violence and the community at large. I’ve been fortunate to attend almost every year. And, our nonprofit organization, Walking Into A New Life, Inc., has benefited from the proceeds of the event. This year, I was privileged with the task of being the Keynote speaker.
In my address, I wanted to make sure attendees understood the importance of giving, being a good servant leader and being mindful of the language they use when addressing victims of abuse. I also stressed the importance of seeking help, counseling and trusting the judicial system. Among other things, talked about not simply encouraging survivors to just leave an abusive relationship without a plan, as that plan will help to determine when and how they can do it safely.
As always, we had a great time! Food, fun, fellowship and outstanding entertainment. If you didn’t attend this year, I suggest you make plans to come out NEXT year.
June is recognized as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness month. It is commonly referred to PTSD. By definition, it is a mental health condition some people develop after a traumatic experience. Most often, PTSD is associated with someone who has served in combat while in the military. Over the years, it is now being recognized among individuals who’ve experienced other types of trauma. Examples include a life threatening event, domestic abuse or sexual assault. PTSD is oftentimes overlooked. However, far more people suffer from it than most of us could possibly imagine.
For me, it was not something I even realized I suffered from until I was sitting in a workshop a few years ago. The topic was PTSD and the facilitator is the Director of The Athena Project here in Memphis. As she described the symptoms, I found myself becoming overwhelmed with emotions. I cried. Not so much because I realized in that moment that she was describing me and my life. I cried because for the first time in my life, I felt like I had an explanation for why certain things affect me the way they do. It was a sigh of relief. My feelings finally had a name, and the name was PTSD.
If you are reading this, I strongly encourage you to check out the following link: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/ptsd-overview/basics/what-is-ptsd.asp It’s from the Department of Veterans Affairs. It provides some great information regarding PTSD, including knowing the signs and getting help. If you’re in the Memphis, TN area, please reach out to The Athena Project: http://www.memphis.edu/athena/
I recently had the privilege of speaking at Hard Rock Cafe in Memphis, TN. It was the location for my dear friend, Gwendolyn Turner’s 1st official fundraiser for her transitional housing facility. The Corinthian Safe House will be a safe haven for women and families fleeing domestic violence. It’s has a tentative date of operation of December, 2016. Gwen asked if I would share a few words about my personal journey and the need for housing for survivors in our community.
It was a great opportunity for me to share about my struggles with solidifying housing for myself and my children when I left my abuser. It’s not easy finding housing, especially when your credit is not that great, resources are limited, transportation is a challenge and you are dealing with the emotional and/or physical trauma of abuse. I was able to share how everything I just mentioned were barriers for me. I was able to share how those same issues are a constant problem for many of the survivors I’ve spoken to. And, having worked specifically as a Victim Advocate for Shelby Co., I spend a lot of time talking with victims and survivors first hand. Housing was often listed as a top priority. I conducted a survey recently among advocates and survivors of abuse. Housing was the one barrier that was listed as a priority at a rate of 100%.
I am hopeful that Gwen’s date of operation becomes a reality. It looks very promising. It is certainly needed. I will be there for the ribbon cutting. If you’re in the Memphis, TN area, I encourage you to join us. Be on the look out for additional information.
For a 2nd year, I am pleased to have been asked to join Katrina Kimble and Pearl “Hair Deva” Walker with co-hosting a Pink and Purple Awareness Day event. You ARE worth fighting for, and I’m excited about all that the event will bring. We will have some great food, vendor shopping, networking opportunities and of course, information on domestic violence as well as breast cancer. It’s absolutely free to attend, and my hope is that those who are in the Memphis, TN area make plans to attend and share this event with others. If you’re not in the area but would like more information, please let me know. I’ll be more than happy to share it with you.
Katrina Kimble is truly the brainchild behind this wonderful event. With over 20 years of health & wellness and community & faith based engagement, she’s truly an expert in her field. She is certified in several areas of health and wellness and her expertise has been embraced around the country.
Pearl “Hair Deva” Walker is a licensed natural stylist and the owner of Legacy Locks and Natural Styles, a business that has been around for over 60 years. A community activist in her own right, Pearl continues to be committed to bringing thought provoking perspectives to her salon and regularly hosts events to encourage positive dialogue on a number of social issues affecting our communities locally and nationally.
April is recognized nationally as sexual assault awareness month, aka S.A.A.M. Throughout the month, I will be participating in a number of activities in support of the month, but it’s also quite personal for me. One of the worst experiences of my life was being sexually assaulted by someone that I loved. What I’ve come to learn over the years is that sexual assault/abuse within intimate relationships is common and often not reported, mainly because it is an intimate partner. Being in a relationship is not consent for abuse in any form. Rape is rape. Abuse is abuse. The relationship status isn’t a pass to mistreat another individual.
April 10th marks the anniversary of when I shared my experiences of domestic violence and sexual assault in a public setting. I’d talked about it to some degree with a person here and there, but I decided to go public with it at the Young Women of Excellence program for which I was a chairperson. At the time of my presentation, I wasn’t aware that April was a month of any particular meaning. I just felt that it was the perfect opportunity to share with the women in the audience about my experiences. My hope was that those mothers would hear what I had to say, think about what may be going on in their own lives or the lives of someone they knew, and have the courage to talk about it and of course, leave.
I never thought about what I’d do or how I’d feel after the event was over. But, the most amazing things have happened since I released my hurts, doubts and frustrations. I’m still telling my story. And, now, I have even more stories to share. I’ve been able to travel, teach and train. I’ve gotten remarried. I’m an author. I’ve watched my children become adults, and we have worked through many of our individual and collective hurts. We’re stronger. We’re better.
I’ve learned a lot from all of my experiences, and I’m dedicated to helping as many individuals, businesses and organizations as I possibly can to transition from awareness to action, become more educated, empowered and become holistically sound.
