Girls Night Out-Year Six

Girls Night Out-Year Six

Girls Night Out began six years ago at the Whitehaven Library. One of the directors, Donna Windham, reached out to me and asked if I’d be one of the facilitators. She felt domestic violence was a topic that needed to be addressed among young ladies, especially the teens. I agreed to participate. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and learned some great information from the attendees and the other agency presenter.

The following year, I was asked to come back. This time, I would be the sole presenter. Again, I agreed and again, I had a great time interacting with the attendees. I’m honored to say this year will mark six years of me serving in this capacity. It is extremely important that we continue to bring awareness about domestic violence, encourage our young people to make healthy and informed choices and guide their plans and purpose in a positive way. I do hope you’ll make plans to join us, share the information and bring as many young ladies with you as you can.

Local and National Leadership: Maintaining a Positive Perspective

Local and National Leadership: Maintaining a Positive Perspective

whatisleadershipOn November 5, 2016, I hosted my organization’s 6th Annual Men’s Domestic Violence Awareness program. This year, I chose to co-host the event with our Family Safety Center. The purpose is to bring our community together to promote and encourage male involvement, mentoring, education and healthy relationships. We also make honorary presentations for male advocates, with a specific emphasis on domestic violence. I strategically host this event on the 1st Saturday following Domestic Violence Awareness month. I believe it keeps the conversation going, adding the component of showing the positive side of male advocacy and their involvement to help end violence against women.

The following week, on November 8, 2016, the U.S. Presidential election took place. After spending the weekend celebrating men who engage in efforts to eradicate violence against women, I watched in disbelief as the country voted to place a man in office whose comments about various groups, including minorities and women, have been disturbing, to say the least.

I am saddened to see that what I continue to feel and experience in my own community has come to pass in reality as a whole across our nation. The selection of our new President shows that a high level of fear, celebrity and the acceptance of ‘locker room talk’ among other issues, is alive and well. It also shows that those of us who serve in a leadership capacity have to continue pushing our local, state and national legislators to hold those accountable for establishing and/or furthering to incite the social, racial and economic injustices that have caused various minority communities to feel even less likely to trust or believe for equality and long term change.

Furthermore, it is noteworthy to mention that our President elect won based on the electoral college and not the popular vote. After researching the history of how the electoral college was formed in the first place, it appears that the voices of minorities were not part of that establishment. I’m a woman of color living in a southern ‘red’ state. I’m definitely a boots on the ground type of community leader, and yes I voted. And, while my vote DID matter in terms of my right to do so, that vote went up against a systematically strong alliance that continues to show up as a powerful, united front.

What does all of this mean for me as a minority women in leadership? It serves as a personal and professional reminder that I/we still have a lot of work to do. There are current laws that need to be examined, challenged and changed. I’m more determined to ensure that my voice and the voices of other minorities are heard, respected and protected. As a woman of color & community leader, I have an obligation to serve my community, ensure they understand their right to speak up and out regarding issues of equality and justice, and demand that tangible resources are made available to further enhance their quality of life. Hopefully, the new President will sincerely examine our country’s issues, challenges and concerns in a way that will encourage him to adopt a different perspective and work for holistic justice and equality.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

wianl-logoAs many of you are now aware, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I will be sharing a lot more blogs over the next few weeks, so please be sure to stay connected. In the meantime, I’m asking that you reach out to your local agencies and ask how you can help, attend events, make a donation, wear something purple, etc. And, as always, if you or someone you know is going through domestic violence, please call 911 asap (if in immediate danger) or your local agency for strategies on how to leave safely. I’m looking forward to sharing the launch of our organization’s website (Walking Into A New Life, Inc.). But, you can keep up with what we’re doing here: https://www.facebook.com/walkingintoanewlifeinc/

What Type of Party Are You Hosting?

What Type of Party Are You Hosting?

partyI have often said that I enjoy being invited to any party but a pity party. I may decide to stop by and check it out for a few minutes Like and . However, I will never take off my coat or have a seat. I am not interested in making myself comfortable. Life is to be lived and enjoyed. When it’s not treating you fairly, or even if your experiences are in some way self inflicted, at what point do you stop pouting? I offer three other p’s to consider: pray, persevere and praise.

Pray: I truly believe that everyone needs to have some sort of spiritual foundation and be intentional about tapping into that foundation daily. It has truly been a saving grace for me. Read a bible, Q’uan, Daily Bread or any countless number of books from pastors or spiritual advisers from around the world. Practice daily and consistent prayer, meditation and chanting. Speak about the things that trouble you and express your needs, wants and desires. Pray for peace of mind, clarity and guided direction.

Persevere: You have to find ways to push through life’s frustrations, whatever they may be. I know that can be easier said than done, but it must be done. Focus on your why. I’ve talked about this before. Your why is the fuel that keeps you going when nothing else seems to matter. Money is a great motivator, but be specific about the money. For me, it was me verbalizing that I need money to pay my rent because I was tired of seeing eviction notices on my door every month. My children not having school uniforms or us not having transportation. My why continues to be all about stability. I don’t want to ever find myself worrying about what I’m going to eat or where I’m going to lay my head. So, I push though. I make the uncomfortable phone calls. I ask for support. I stay up late and get up early. I am consistent.

Praise: Be thankful for your experiences. I can assure you that someone wishes they had what you’re dealing with. I’ll take it a step further and say that you don’t want other people’s problems. Find ways to celebrate where you are, what you have, what you’ve done, who’s been there for you, etc. When you can find (sometimes it’s not as easy as others) the positives, it allows you to redirect your focus on what you need to do to change your situation. You’ll remember that person, place or thing that will give you just the push you need and recognize that as long as you have breath, you have life.

2nd Place: Not Bad for My 1st 5k

2nd Place: Not Bad for My 1st 5k

5k runToday, I participated in my first 5k run/walk. The 2nd Annual Share Life Awareness Walk took place at 9am this morning. It was hosted by Kamekio Lewis, who wears many hats to include author, Executive Director, Magazine Editor, wife, mother and survivor of domestic violence. It was an honor to participate in the event. And, I actually placed 2nd in the walk/run! Not bad for someone who is NOT  a runner and as much as I hate to admit it, not actively engaging in exercise in the way that I should be. I learned some great lessons from the event, and I’ll be writing another blog that will be specific to lessons learned. For now, I want to just take a moment to celebrate this awesome milestone.

Far too often, people feel as though 2nd place is not good enough. Society says that almost doesn’t count, or that no one remembers who’s second-only who won. There is some degree of truth to that considering the circumstances and what’s at stake. However, when it comes to the challenges we encounter in our lives, 2nd place may just be a comfortable place to be in. Take my race today as an example. I didn’t properly exercise & I’d never participated in a 2, 3, 5k anything before today. I just had the desire to support my friends and colleagues. I made up my mind to try running at least 1/2 of the 5k. It really didn’t matter to me who else would remember how I placed in the race. It was important to me that ‘I’ finished it. It was about me. It was about my personal challenge. It was about my personal goals. Therefore, the importance of the outcome was personal, not societal.

2nd place was a first place win for me, and I’ll gladly take that recognition…and my lovely gift basket of relaxation goodies, compliments of Kamekio Lewis and Honey Pot!