For a 2nd year, I am pleased to have been asked to join Katrina Kimble and Pearl “Hair Deva” Walker with co-hosting a Pink and Purple Awareness Day event. You ARE worth fighting for, and I’m excited about all that the event will bring. We will have some great food, vendor shopping, networking opportunities and of course, information on domestic violence as well as breast cancer. It’s absolutely free to attend, and my hope is that those who are in the Memphis, TN area make plans to attend and share this event with others. If you’re not in the area but would like more information, please let me know. I’ll be more than happy to share it with you.
Katrina Kimble is truly the brainchild behind this wonderful event. With over 20 years of health & wellness and community & faith based engagement, she’s truly an expert in her field. She is certified in several areas of health and wellness and her expertise has been embraced around the country.
Pearl “Hair Deva” Walker is a licensed natural stylist and the owner of Legacy Locks and Natural Styles, a business that has been around for over 60 years. A community activist in her own right, Pearl continues to be committed to bringing thought provoking perspectives to her salon and regularly hosts events to encourage positive dialogue on a number of social issues affecting our communities locally and nationally.
This weekend, I had the opportunity to speak at a monthly forum called The Mental Discussion. Hosted by Mental Health Therapist Brandy Flynn, the purpose is to bring community awareness on issues related to mental health as well as the various intersections. This month, she wanted to address the intersections between mental health and domestic violence.
While I touched on several points, the most significant one I want to share in this blog is that of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. As described by the US Dept of Veteran Affairs, PTSD is a mental health problem that can occur after a traumatic event such as war, assault or disaster. So often, many of us only think of PTSD as a condition exclusive to war veterans. Before I had a true understanding of PTSD, I made the same assumption. As I began to learn more about myself on the survivor’s side of abuse, I realized that there were certain images made me nervous to the point of hand tremors and even insomnia. There are certain movies I cannot watch and conversations for which I cannot participate. I used to think that something was wrong with me. I mean, after all, it’s just a movie or it’s just a conversation. I believed that I needed to just accept that and get over it.
PTSD is very real for anyone who has gone through a traumatic experience. It becomes active when a person is exposed to certain triggers. They are different for everyone. For some, it may be gunfire which reminds them of a traumatic experience in their lives. For others, it may be a particular genre of music. It’s important to let your doctor or counselor know if you think you may be suffering from PTSD. They will be able to discuss the signs and options for help.
As many of you are now aware, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I will be sharing a lot more blogs over the next few weeks, so please be sure to stay connected. In the meantime, I’m asking that you reach out to your local agencies and ask how you can help, attend events, make a donation, wear something purple, etc. And, as always, if you or someone you know is going through domestic violence, please call 911 asap (if in immediate danger) or your local agency for strategies on how to leave safely. I’m looking forward to sharing the launch of our organization’s website (Walking Into A New Life, Inc.). But, you can keep up with what we’re doing here: https://www.facebook.com/walkingintoanewlifeinc/
It is my honor to facilitate Girls Night Out on Domestic Violence for a 5th year. The 1 hour program is designed to bring awareness to teen girls and women about domestic violence. And, to allow for an unfiltered conversation about dv, sexual assault and teen dating violence.
In 2012, I was asked to serve as a co-facilitator for this event. It is hosted by the Whitehaven Public Library in Memphis, TN. It was believed that the area would benefit from having an intimate discussion with young ladies about domestic violence. Since the initial event, I’ve been doing it solo. It continues to be one of the most enjoyable events that I participate in. I learn as much for the attendees as they say they learn from me.
The event is FREE to attend, and if you or someone you know is in the Memphis, TN area, please make plans to attend. It’s for teens and women only. For more information, please contact me or call the Whitehaven Public Library at (901) 415-2781.
In business, as well as in our personal lives, no can sometimes be the hardest word to say. Those two little words possess a great deal of power and influence. The closer we are to the person, place or thing we must say no to, the more difficult it is to do. I will go a step further and say that we feel compelled to provide an explanation. And, while I do believe that sometimes it is necessary to explain why we are saying no, in most cases, it is not. As humans, we tend to feel obligated to explain ourselves. We don’t want individuals to be mad at us or feel we are letting them down. The truth is, no is a complete sentence. It’s an answer to a question. Whether or not you should offer a why depends on the situation.
Understand that providing an explanation doesn’t mean you’ll be forgiven. It doesn’t mean you will be more liked. What is does mean is that you respected yourself and others to say no. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. When I say no, it’s usually because I’m trying to protect myself and/or others. There’s a lesson to be learned. There’s a strength that needs to be explored or exercised.
With each encounter in question, ask yourself what the short and long term outcomes will be. Examine the pros and cons. Evaluate whether the risk is worth the reward. Decide whether or not it will compromise your values, peace of mind and overall holistic well being. Assess whether or not you will see growth and if there is a mutual benefit.
Once you’ve completed your research, evaluations and careful assessments, you will be able to make an informed decision about what YOU want and need to do. And, if the answer is no, then say it with confidence, knowing that unless it is truly necessary, an explanation is not needed nor required.
