Today, I participated in my first 5k run/walk. The 2nd Annual Share Life Awareness Walk took place at 9am this morning. It was hosted by Kamekio Lewis, who wears many hats to include author, Executive Director, Magazine Editor, wife, mother and survivor of domestic violence. It was an honor to participate in the event. And, I actually placed 2nd in the walk/run! Not bad for someone who is NOT a runner and as much as I hate to admit it, not actively engaging in exercise in the way that I should be. I learned some great lessons from the event, and I’ll be writing another blog that will be specific to lessons learned. For now, I want to just take a moment to celebrate this awesome milestone.
Far too often, people feel as though 2nd place is not good enough. Society says that almost doesn’t count, or that no one remembers who’s second-only who won. There is some degree of truth to that considering the circumstances and what’s at stake. However, when it comes to the challenges we encounter in our lives, 2nd place may just be a comfortable place to be in. Take my race today as an example. I didn’t properly exercise & I’d never participated in a 2, 3, 5k anything before today. I just had the desire to support my friends and colleagues. I made up my mind to try running at least 1/2 of the 5k. It really didn’t matter to me who else would remember how I placed in the race. It was important to me that ‘I’ finished it. It was about me. It was about my personal challenge. It was about my personal goals. Therefore, the importance of the outcome was personal, not societal.
2nd place was a first place win for me, and I’ll gladly take that recognition…and my lovely gift basket of relaxation goodies, compliments of Kamekio Lewis and Honey Pot!
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am honored to share that my submission to The Memphis Flyer’s Viewpoint column was received and approved for publication. It was great to see the print publication last night, and the online version is now available. Click the title to read the article and be sure to leave a comment. Domestic Violence: From Awareness to Action
The picture is the cover of the latest edition of the Memphis Flyer.
There’s a very simple and universal reason that people aren’t generally transparent about their situation, and I sum it up in one word-fear. While there may be any number of other reasons, fear, in most cases is lurking somewhere nearby. However, is the fear of transparency more about us or them?
There is a fear of judgement based on your life’s choices that have created uncomfortable consequences. People will blame you for your perceived or well documented less than stellar life’s events. There’s fear of not living up to certain expectations. You should have gone to college. You should have graduated by now. You should have more money. Why haven’t you gotten married yet? You have too many children out of wedlock. There’s a fear that your transparency will make you appear vulnerable. And, vulnerability will be perceived as a weak characteristic, rather than an admission of being human.
Now, the real significance of this particular blog is that I’m not necessarily referring to what other people’s thought process is about you. What other people think and say about us, whether true or false, does matter to us to some degree. However, I’m also referring to the fear of our own perceptions. When you’re being completely transparent, you are allowing yourself to be held under scrutiny by others. But, you’re now in a place of self reflection, and if done honestly, it can be sometimes be a difficult box to unpack. You’re now faced with the task of admission. Maybe it’s an unhealthy relationship. Maybe a friend or family member has hurt you. Maybe you’re living above your means. Maybe you’ve lied on someone. Maybe you’re struggling with health issues.
Here’s the thing. When we lie about our situations or give the appearance that all is well, we are doing ourselves and others a disservice. People are people, meaning, they will talk about you regardless to your situation, good or bad. Transparency provides a certain freedom that says you’re having a difficult time right now and need help. Or, it says that you struggled with a particular issue and you have overcome. While some may use it as a gossip piece of sorts, what you will find is that many will appreciate knowing that you’re human and that they are not alone. Trust me. Someone is going through what you’re going through; oftentimes right in your immediate circle. Your transparency may be just the thing that frees them, gives them courage and encourages them to move forward. And, in turn, you can and will receive the help that you need, forgive yourself and others, gain clarity and move forward as well.
I am honored to serve as Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc. Our mission is to stop domestic violence and help stabilize victims of abuse. We now host a radio show entitled Boots on the Ground. The purpose is to give a voice to lesser known individuals, businesses, agencies and organizations a platform to have their stories and missions heard, list tangible resources available and find out how the community can support their efforts. It also serves as a platform for those who are more high profiled to share how they work with those who are up and coming.
I’d love to have you follow the show, listen to past shows and share the information. There has been some awesome resources and events discussed. There’s been some amazing stories of resiliency and triumph shared. So many cities have already been represented, and I look forward to more inspiring and engaging interviews each and every week. blogtalkradio.com/walkingintoanewlife
