I recently had the privilege of speaking at Hard Rock Cafe in Memphis, TN. It was the location for my dear friend, Gwendolyn Turner’s 1st official fundraiser for her transitional housing facility. The Corinthian Safe House will be a safe haven for women and families fleeing domestic violence. It’s has a tentative date of operation of December, 2016. Gwen asked if I would share a few words about my personal journey and the need for housing for survivors in our community.
It was a great opportunity for me to share about my struggles with solidifying housing for myself and my children when I left my abuser. It’s not easy finding housing, especially when your credit is not that great, resources are limited, transportation is a challenge and you are dealing with the emotional and/or physical trauma of abuse. I was able to share how everything I just mentioned were barriers for me. I was able to share how those same issues are a constant problem for many of the survivors I’ve spoken to. And, having worked specifically as a Victim Advocate for Shelby Co., I spend a lot of time talking with victims and survivors first hand. Housing was often listed as a top priority. I conducted a survey recently among advocates and survivors of abuse. Housing was the one barrier that was listed as a priority at a rate of 100%.
I am hopeful that Gwen’s date of operation becomes a reality. It looks very promising. It is certainly needed. I will be there for the ribbon cutting. If you’re in the Memphis, TN area, I encourage you to join us. Be on the look out for additional information.
Every year around this time, I see so many people making plans for what they wish to accomplish for the new year. Some people want to lose a certain amount of weight. Some want to start an exercise program. Some want to write a book, begin speaking, start a radio show or new business.
Why wait until the new year start doing what you want and need to do now? I’ll be completely transparent in saying that I love to eat, and I’m especially partial to sweets. The holidays provide an opportunity for some of the best cakes, pies and cobblers imaginable. Macaroni and cheese, smoked turkey, dressing…I could go on and on. I know I need to exercise. I know I need to eat in moderation. Yet, I tell myself that it’s ok to indulge. And, there’s no need to exercise because it’s counterproductive if I’m going to just overeat anyway. I’ll just start next week. Until last week, next week had been going on for nearly 4 months.
So, what’s the REAL reason that you haven’t started exercising or written that book yet? Are you afraid? Don’t have enough discipline? Don’t know how to get started? You don’t need to make a resolution. You need to start now with the mental preparation. You need to start now with establishing discipline. You need to make your goals short, simple and realistic. Put pride aside, ask questions, study those who are already doing what you aspire to do and be willing to practice discipline and consistency. If you can’t do these things now, don’t expect much success in them happening just because the year changes.
The benefit of starting now is that it already gets you on track for the new year, so that you’re already ahead of the game. You may even find that what you were putting off for later may not even be necessary. If there are legitimate barriers that keep you from doing certain things at this time, then by all means, wait until it is feasible. But, for those situations that are within your control, take action and start now.
Sometimes, our goals are just too broad. Who wouldn’t enjoy a six figure income, great home, multiple cars, fabulous clothes, exotic vacations, a happy relationship with family, friends, husbands, wives, etc.? While having faith is important, it’s honestly just not enough. You’ve got to put in the work. But, what exactly are you working on? What does work actually look like in terms of your needs, wants and desires in your personal and professional life? Work consists of planning your work and working your plan. Be prepared to work mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Be prepared for some long, disheartening and disappointing days and nights. You will question yourself. You will question others. Set some goals for your day, week, month and year. And, yes, set some goals by the hour.
I believe that the more you micro-manage your goals by the hour, the more clarity it will provide you with what needs to be tweaked as you strive towards your longer ranged goals. In fact, if you truly practice discipline and consistency, what goals could you set for yourself in 30 minute increments? Think about it. If we can find ways to cook meals in 30 minutes or less, why can’t we find ways to plan daily activities/routines that will holistically change our lives at 30 minutes at a time? I have some great strategies on accomplishing this, and if you’re reading this and want to learn more, I’m more than happy to help you put this strategy in motion.
In terms of domestic violence, those who are being victimized tend to think broadly. They are thinking about the leaving part. Those that love them are thinking about the leaving part. Oftentimes, just leaving is too broad of a concept to grasp. Or, it may not be feasible to do so for any number of reasons from financial to safety concerns. Again, there are a number of strategies that can and should be put in place to ensure that the holistic outcome is safe, realistic and tangible. Acknowledge that you need help and support with your personal and professional aspirations and be open to the suggestions you receive. Take each day as it comes with the belief that goals serve as a blueprint to achieving holistic success.
I am honored to serve as Executive Director of Walking Into A New Life, Inc. Our mission is to stop domestic violence and help stabilize victims of abuse. We now host a radio show entitled Boots on the Ground. The purpose is to give a voice to lesser known individuals, businesses, agencies and organizations a platform to have their stories and missions heard, list tangible resources available and find out how the community can support their efforts. It also serves as a platform for those who are more high profiled to share how they work with those who are up and coming.
I’d love to have you follow the show, listen to past shows and share the information. There has been some awesome resources and events discussed. There’s been some amazing stories of resiliency and triumph shared. So many cities have already been represented, and I look forward to more inspiring and engaging interviews each and every week. blogtalkradio.com/walkingintoanewlife
