She is in youRecently, I had the privilege of speaking on a tele-summit entitled, She is in You. My topic was “Girls Night-Investing In You”. My focus was to share with the listening audience about my experience with overcoming domestic violence and entertaining the idea of engaging in a romantic relationship again, but only AFTER I had truly learned to love myself and embrace me-flaws and all. I also had to find ways to invest in myself holistically.

I wanted to dispel the myth that you have to spend a lot of money in order to be happy or do things for yourself. Because February is known as love month, and specifically, Valentine’s Day, society equates gifts and fancy dinners as the ultimate displays of love and affection. For many, this month is quite dreaded. What if you don’t have a significant other? What if the significant other was your abuser? What if you don’t have the money to afford a spa day or night out on the town? It does not or should not make you or anyone else feel less important or significant. We should never measure our self worth on material things.

You can pamper yourself on a budget. For about $5, you can buy a box of finely ground scented bath salts, an aroma-scented candle, manicure set, cotton balls and nail polish from any Family Dollar, WalMart or Dollar General Store. Play the radio or download music to your phone, run a nice bath and relax. Have children? Establish some things for them to do while you’re pampering yourself and make sure they understand the boundaries of ‘mommy time’ or take some time for yourself before they go to school or after bed. Of course, not every situation works for everybody, but the point is, YOU must take some time out for YOU. In order to establish happy and healthy relationships with others, whether it be personal or professional, you must first make sure that you’re in a happy and healthy relationship with yourself.