On November 5, 2016, I hosted my organization’s 6th Annual Men’s Domestic Violence Awareness program. This year, I chose to co-host the event with our Family Safety Center. The purpose is to bring our community together to promote and encourage male involvement, mentoring, education and healthy relationships. We also make honorary presentations for male advocates, with a specific emphasis on domestic violence. I strategically host this event on the 1st Saturday following Domestic Violence Awareness month. I believe it keeps the conversation going, adding the component of showing the positive side of male advocacy and their involvement to help end violence against women.
The following week, on November 8, 2016, the U.S. Presidential election took place. After spending the weekend celebrating men who engage in efforts to eradicate violence against women, I watched in disbelief as the country voted to place a man in office whose comments about various groups, including minorities and women, have been disturbing, to say the least.
I am saddened to see that what I continue to feel and experience in my own community has come to pass in reality as a whole across our nation. The selection of our new President shows that a high level of fear, celebrity and the acceptance of ‘locker room talk’ among other issues, is alive and well. It also shows that those of us who serve in a leadership capacity have to continue pushing our local, state and national legislators to hold those accountable for establishing and/or furthering to incite the social, racial and economic injustices that have caused various minority communities to feel even less likely to trust or believe for equality and long term change.
Furthermore, it is noteworthy to mention that our President elect won based on the electoral college and not the popular vote. After researching the history of how the electoral college was formed in the first place, it appears that the voices of minorities were not part of that establishment. I’m a woman of color living in a southern ‘red’ state. I’m definitely a boots on the ground type of community leader, and yes I voted. And, while my vote DID matter in terms of my right to do so, that vote went up against a systematically strong alliance that continues to show up as a powerful, united front.
What does all of this mean for me as a minority women in leadership? It serves as a personal and professional reminder that I/we still have a lot of work to do. There are current laws that need to be examined, challenged and changed. I’m more determined to ensure that my voice and the voices of other minorities are heard, respected and protected. As a woman of color & community leader, I have an obligation to serve my community, ensure they understand their right to speak up and out regarding issues of equality and justice, and demand that tangible resources are made available to further enhance their quality of life. Hopefully, the new President will sincerely examine our country’s issues, challenges and concerns in a way that will encourage him to adopt a different perspective and work for holistic justice and equality.
As many of you are now aware, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I will be sharing a lot more blogs over the next few weeks, so please be sure to stay connected. In the meantime, I’m asking that you reach out to your local agencies and ask how you can help, attend events, make a donation, wear something purple, etc. And, as always, if you or someone you know is going through domestic violence, please call 911 asap (if in immediate danger) or your local agency for strategies on how to leave safely. I’m looking forward to sharing the launch of our organization’s website (Walking Into A New Life, Inc.). But, you can keep up with what we’re doing here: https://www.facebook.com/walkingintoanewlifeinc/
What an honor is was to share the stage with an amazing list of men and women who came together in support of bringing awareness about several community issues plaguing Shelby Co, TN. The event was called “Takin’ it to the Streets”, featuring information on domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking, bullying, gang involvement, gun violence and overall crime. It was held at the Raleigh Community Center during Shelby County School’s Spring Break.
The purpose was to make sure that children were off the streets and engaged in positive activities. The youth summit was a day long event filled with activities for the youth. What I appreciated most about this event was seeing community leaders coming together and being adamant about reaching our youth where they are, showing them that we care, willing to talk to them, listen to them and want to help them. I believe that as a society, we must go back to the idea of ‘it takes a village’ and be willing to go into the village, town, community, etc. and serve in a meaningful and genuine way. Our youth recognize when people are in attendance for photo ops vs being there when there are no cameras around.
I’m honored to have been asked to participate, and I encourage everyone to please reach out to their respective community leaders and ask how collaborative efforts can be made possible to reduce crime and lack of education and replace it with an increase of love, support, awareness and change.
Domestic abuse can leave many individuals in fear of their lives. Statistics show that once a victim of abuse decides to leave his/her abuser, there is a greater chance of the victim being assaulted, and sadly, may turn fatal. The major reason for this has to do with the abuser realizing that he’s losing his/her power and control over the victim. This is one of the main reasons that we, as advocates and counselors, encourage individuals to have a safety plan in place that covers a who, what, when, where and why for before, during and after he/she leaves an abusive situation. For many, learning various methods of self defense is a positive way to make individuals feel safe and empowered.
In Memphis, TN, there are a number of organizations and businesses that offer options for self defense, some to include gun training and certification. On March 19th, I will serve as one of the presenters for the event on the attached photo. This particular conference will explore options that do not include the use of a gun. We’ll also talk about domestic abuse, the different types, understanding the signs, where to go for services and will include live demonstrations for self defense for which attendees can participate. If you’re in Memphis or know others who are, please be sure to register or encourage others to do so. What you’ll learn here will be helpful for you or someone you know.
I had the privilege of taking part in a very well put together telesummit entitled Transcend 2016: Connect, Express, Relate and Grow. It was hosted by Jennifer Tagaki of Jennifer Tagaki Co. and she was very intentional about putting together a group of women who specialized in specific areas of health, wellness and financial literacy. The result? A week long telesummit filled with great information and presented by knowledgeable, passionate and engaging women. In addition to being provided great information via telephone, each speaker provided freebies to everyone who signed up. Everyone who tuned in was able to hear and receive the tools they needed to holistically succeed.
My topic was entitled Walking Into A New Life: Overcoming Abuse. WIANL is also the name of my nonprofit organization. It is my belief that you have to have the proper mindset to do anything, so if you’re being mentally tormented, it will be very difficult to concentrate on the other aspects of your life. We must not just concern ourselves with our physical health. Time and attention must be devoted to our mental health as well. WIANL’s mission is to stop domestic violence and help stabilize victims through a series of projects, programs and initiatives that we host throughout the year. Don’t ever feel the need to be in a hurry when it comes to getting over abuse. It is a process and everyone will need to do it at their own pace. But, with the right guidance and tangible resources, it is possible to live a holistically happy and healthy life. I am honored to have been able to share my insights with those in attendance.
